Single and Loving It

Dating Website Reviews

 Relationships In The Workplace

 

There is probably no parent around who has not warned his or her soon-to-be-employed child not to date someone from the office. The possible snags in a work/romance scenario are not difficult to imagine, but that doesn't seem to stop them from blossoming in the corridors. "The workplace is to sex as mold is to penicillin, and no management edict aimed at curbing this very basic human activity will ever succeed," observes a former human resources executive.

So what are the answers for those who find themselves in this romantic or sexual quandary? First, find out what your company has done in the past in specific cases and be prepared to act on the information. Look at the possible ramifications of breaking up, or staying together. Will your work suffer, or your relationship? Discretion may protect you for a while, but don't count on it. Level with your management and work out a solution before it becomes a problem. Remember that you are a professional while you are at the office and act accordingly. What About Being Friends With Your Boss? Romantic relationships are one thing - and protocols often exist about how to deal with them - but friendships are fuzzier. Friends are made at the office, and there is usually no problem with that dynamic. In many cases, companies even encourage camaraderie among the staff. Where a friendship might become questionable is when one of the friends works for the other. Typically both parties are women. Men tend to compete with each other rather than bond, and in the case of a male/female bond, a "friendship" is assumed to be sexual. Says one woman executive: "If you go out with a female boss after work, you're having a beer. But if you go out with a male boss, people assume you're having an affair." So why are boss/underling friendships a problem? Brian DesRoches, author and management consultant, feels that these friendships are doomed from the get-go, observing: "Friend implies equal, and how can you really be friends with someone who has the power to hire and fire you?" Well, maybe you can. After all, you willingly share a major piece of your lives. Just observe some simple guidelines. If your organization is more team-oriented than hierarchical, your friendship has a greater chance of success. Also, if you are both at the same stage in life, you'll share a lot more than office proximity and issues. Finally, be up front about any problems and be sensitive to how coworkers perceive you both. Love, Friendship, Now Dislike Notice that for both lovers and friends, openness is the best advice. That may also be the case if the emotion is negative, and it is your boss who dislikes you. Obviously, this cannot continue. Eventually the boss will force you to quit or just get rid of you directly. At the very least, your everyday life could be very unpleasant. Often the reason for the dislike is your style, not your work, so try to find a way to uncover the source of the clash and see what you can do about it. In one case, a woman merely resembled a television character her boss detested. Another boss was having personal problems and couldn't keep up a good front at the office. A third found antagonism evaporated after a lunch where she decided to make a conscious effort to be charming. In addition to trying to get behind the emotion, here's further advice from those who have been there. Before taking any action, be certain you're not the problem. If this has happened to you before, you may be the only one who can save the situation. After that, look to your boss's style and try to work within those parameters. Finally, be prepared to find a different position, either in the same company or a new one. Maintain a network of friends and contacts to whom you can turn if no internal solution emerges. What do you do if it's not you but your employees who are in a problematic relationship? Most of the above still holds. Advise the lovebirds, friends, or enemies, as the case may be, that the relationship is obvious and interfering with the office routine. Work on a solution with them, together or separately as dictated by their positions and yours, bearing in mind that someone may have to transfer or leave. And make sure you don't automatically assume it will be the woman who leaves, or you may wind up in the middle of a much larger problem.